Back!!

Back to blogging...^^
Been a long time since i blogged le...wellx..reached singapore on the 12th December 2005...
nice date..12/12/2005....The moment stepped out of the airport...had been sweating since then..but more alrite now le..afterall..its ledi ard 2 wks...
Been out most of the time these 2 wks...with different ppl..yapz..frens who i had not seen for long...
they changed a bit..but stil not til the extreme...
let me see...2nd day bek...got cls gathering i tink..cant realli remember..been out n out til lost track of time...
wellx...somethin happened during these 2 wks too..i actualli forgotten abt my fren bday...nahz..anywayz..its a long story...but not goin to say anything liow ba...
move on to the hapi events..
went jb find mingli they all during christmas eve...yapz...they brought us walk ard...n brought us bek sg in the end...
they even paid for our food all those in jb..
made us feel so bad...
saw samuel too...haha..mingli bf who we met before in melbourne...nice feelinz ...
this is wad i call true frens ba...frens who will actualli care abt ur well being...when u sick..they will rush to u...
when u go their terriority..they will be a very gd host..they will tink for ppl...
and not frens who will force others to do stuffs and not being in other ppl's shoes...
well..till here...not aimin at anyone particular...just that so hapi that god gave mi this kind of frens in melbourne..
n like wad someone told mi..these frens will stay in the "forever" list...
n i promise will be ther for them no matter wad...
left 6 days to go...cham..stil got a lot to buy..a lot to do...
Went shoppin with toopid winnie today...=b went eyebrow trimmin..that malay ger dam frenli n nice...but stil..i prefer chantel goh...keke...cos its stil nicer..but..but...it...closed!!!
so hack lahz...
anywayz..if winnie u readin this post ah...that pouch reali wan buy for u de..but too bad lah...they no accept nets...wahaha...=~D
had a nice n tiring dayz...cos nid drag lappie bek...
tml goin jb...when shld i meet joyce ?n when shld i pack my luggage n buy my stuffs n do my stuffs?...headache...
no time..no time..reali no time liow!!!
-Over n out, ~* wshn *~-

results day

just got bek my results ard evening time in aussie..
LUCKILY..managed to clear all!!!
Though not very gd results...but reali dam happi....
was expecting 2 units to flunk badly..but end up they passed...
phew...thanx god and everyone...
!!!!!!
over n out ~*

26 November 2005

26th nov 05...
I should be goin bek to singapore today...BUT...ya...BUT...
i m stil stuck in aussie....bleahz...=(
send 2 frens to airport today...ya...was supposed to fly bek with them...BUT...monash suxs...
changed the unit thingy and now...i had to delay my flight...
now i had to continue studying...yaaa...do asgs....when everyone was happily enjoying their semester break...!@#!@#!
Just "quarrel" with someone...wellx...
i cant say its quarrel...somethin inside mi jus bo song abt somethin that person said...
anywayz....looked through my msn list...felt so lost...msn jerry but he's not ard...bleahz...the rest of the ppl are either busy or away...that leaves mi with no choice but to rot now...
did i make the wrong choice ?i reali dunoz...i miss people...all flew bek...sigh...
just miss them...and the fun fun hapi hapi memories they brought...
-Js aKa ~* wshn *~-

8:01AM in the mornin Aus Time...

October 31 2005

Now the time is 11:26 for australia melbourne time...wellx..its 11:26PM..difference between here n sg is ..say...now 3 hrs?*bleahz...
Been so long i update this poor n cutey little blog...
why i updating it now?i aso dunoz...jus feel like update...
wellx...looking forward to 11 nov wher i can finally shift hse to another place instead of this stupid samada 7/11 place...student accomodation jus suxs...expensive and everythin not gd...*trust mi..
the memories left behind in this place aso is a lot...from frens to everythin everythin...
today's paper suxs....and tml thers another paper...n yet i m here...bloggin instead of studyying...BLEAHZ...i jus cant concentrate...
learnt a lot in aus...not every ppl are frens...be careful with words...*nods..
somehow miss the peacefulness in singapore...looking forward to go bek...but..thers somethin here that i knoe i will miss too..sighz...
wellx...as for why ...i stil cant find a reason to forgive forget...
sighz...
neng rao ren chu qie rao ren...
i knoe...n i m trying..but it jus brought mi bek sickening memories...sickening feelins...
!#@!#
jyaz..over and out!

sry guys..didnt update for long..
anyway...everythin is fine in aussie...jus that asgs are piling up..and ya..nid cook all that..plus all those entertainment that left mi no time for updating T.T
anywayz...hope all of u are doin fine too...will update when i free ^_-
n yap..if any wanna come mel...let mi knoe
HeeZ

Get to know yourself better

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

god blezz

hope everythin goes well...yep..everything...

hapi yet sad...sad yet hapi?thus...crazy ba..

wellx...i dun actualli noe wad i feelinz...jus like my title...bleahs...
hmm..i hope things will go well well...reali...arghz...
let me blog a little on the word love.
wads love actualli?
actualli love is such a scary thing...it actualli makes u lose ur real self...makes u become bery dependent...makes ppl crazy basicalli...
however...if it is the rite 1...i mean rite guy...u will be as though u in heaven?n all the opp of the previous sentence...bleahz...
wellx...actualli...i m quite worry abt a fren...of mine...mabbe she wunt noe or mabbe she will noe...but recentli hear news abt her...i kind of feel tat she's too in love liow...
well...thers pros n cons...it isnt wrong to be too in luv ...jus that higher hopes = higher disappointments...so i reali hope she will at least protect herself a bit n try to find bek herself..instead of being in this love world...not meanin tat u doin wron thin or wad...but jus dun hope to see u get hurt...n in ur situation now...u reali will get dam hurt if anythin bad happens *choy*
duno if u knoe i m referin to u...but take care ba...though so long nvr tok to u liow ><
another thing....i m reali v happi to hab frens that care for mi...thx all of ya...
hmmx....dun reali knoe wad can blog liow...tml campfire...wonder if winnie wil be bek...wellx...i doubt so...wonderin who will be goin..........
n hopefulli tml will hab a reply...!!!!n hopefulli its a gd one?but if its not...nvm ba...i accept my fate...jus get ready the 2nd route...bleahz...
over n out...
may everythin turns out wellx...

wad a life..

wellx...i didnt reali knoe wad to put in my title..after so long...i realise somethin abt life...
1)dreams dun come true
2)miracles dun happen
3)reality is cruel

and as more stuffs start to unfold..n as more truth starts to surface...i start to understd the meaning of "ignorance is bliss".However, my decision is somethin that others wunt choose...yep..somethin like others wunt even support...

=)

saw a testi from frenster that actualli stab mi again...
another sad day...n hurtful day...
deprived of hopes n wishes...
got to b strong...

halo everyone...halo bloggie...currentli bek to blog...
i jus finished crying...reason?very simple..my itchy hand went into frenster n saw somethings again...wellx...sry i didnt keep my promise...of 1 yr not goin in=.="
was forcing myself...a lot of times...a lot of things...n wad can i say...i m reali tryin my best...

Got this from frenster horoscope...

The Bottom Line
You're not usually this introverted, but change is afoot. Still waters run deep.

In Detail
Sometimes if you're involved in a tug-of-war and both sides are equally matched, the only thing to do is ... let go. No, really. Not only will you get a good giggle at seeing your opponent go flying, but you'll realize that whatever you were tussling over really wasn't worth it in the first place. Afterward, help your rival get to their feet and shake hands. Both your struggles will seem pretty silly once one of you agrees to drop it.

------------------------------------------
currentli i m reali tired of everythin...tired of my life...
i knoe mani of u will say.."wads wrong with ur life...u got everythin u nid...u are better then others...some ppl dun even hab this n that"
i agree with this sentence completeli...but u noe ma...i m stil feelin dam hurt...at tis pt of time...some of u mite say again.."so long ledi u wor"
wellx...again i agree with u all...but its onli ard 2 months plus ...i promised to give myself 1 yr to get over n move on...but when i told my fren this...some part of mi actualli hold bek...i no longer hab the determination...or rather..the confidence...
this time i cry...is not mainli cos of him...even though its frenster that make mi tear first...
i feel so hard...why do ppl always like to give another person false hopes...?
who will actualli understd?will actualli knoe?
sometimes i reali feel like go die...which i haben found the courage to til now...
i got a few frens...who will always be ther for mi listen mi tok n support me..i knoe...
i shld be glad...shld be hapi...all these i knoe..
its not that i m askin for more...its jus that when i tot i hab everytin...god took away everythin..in jus a few mins...
i duno how n wad to do...mabbe a nite of crying will make mi feel better...i hope...
this post a bit saddenin i knoe...but memories came back too quickli at nite..i reali cant control...

Over n out..Goin crazy soon................very soonz...

sad

shldnt be bloggin cos i wanna take a long break..but today somethin disappoint mi to the core...ppl can cause of a ger give up on a frenship..wellx...i reali hab nth else to say..mabbe except...it isnt worth to be gd to ppl afterall rite?

rest ?

wellx...dear readers..dear frens...dear all that bother n care either abt me or my blog...i tink mabbe will stop bloggin for a while..sori..cos those feelins are comin bek to me again..n i reali dun hab any mood to blog...for now ba..

thanx all for not giving up on me...take care all...

**On the hilltop thers a ger..praying and hoping for a shooting star to fall from the dark dark sky...for a wish to come true..for a simple ray of happiness n hope...**

Your Birthdate: April 5

With a birthday on the 5th of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

another set of qnz..

Stole this Questionaire from Ms nothin-to-do, same species as me,Jeannie :b

[NOW]
happy or sad: none
sleepy or awake: awake..i luv nite time :)
hungry or full:i duno wor...ok lor
single or taken:single
sick or healthy:i m very healthy 1...:)

[WHAT]
you last ate:chocolate =x
you last drank:diet coke -___-
you wearing now: the genuine winnie draw the guide tee shirt...cute n nice n it's yellow in color n shorts..duh
are you thinking of:i m tinkin of wad i m tinkin now :)
you wishing for:Happiness, miracles, hope faith blah blah n neverending stuffs...who dun?
do you overuse: overuse wad??????
do you take for granted: dun tink so i did :)

[WHO]
do you miss the most: someone
do you love: sometwo
do you feel most happy with:somethree
makes you laugh:somefour
makes u sleep: somefive
makes you cry: somesix
makes you angry: someseven
enlightens you: someeight
ill-treats you: somenine

DONE with those who thingy la...

[WHEN]
is your birthday: 5th April =b
is you wedding annivesary: ppl wan then say la
is the happiest day of your life: no idea
did you last swear: swear in the sense of scolding or promise...duh
did you last have a fight: i dun fight..=.=

[HOW]
do you overcome depression: cry cry cry ..tink tink tink...basicalli the life of being god...if u knoe wad i mean...
do you live your life: wake up..eat..play..slp...routine?
do you pass your time: same as how i live my life?
do you pass your exams: er...study last min..cos i realise..the more i study..the more i cant get gd results...its true ok...unless i reali wan get AD..den will jus keep memorise...

[WHY]
do you normally get angry: i dun get angry normali duh...
do you cry: cos i m not hapi?duh
are you who you are: y not u tell mi why are u who u r instead...bleahz

how long more?

i slpt at ard 6am yesterday...sis n her bf wasnt ard..the room seemed kinda quiet...wellx...today they wasnt ard too..gotto wait til tml then they bek...

yesterday was chattin with cg...who keep reminded mi of stuffs...dots...stil ask mi those kind of qns like "u stil blah blah blah?" ..alrite..not goin into details abt that..the song i posted yesterday reflected everythin..so guess urselves?no idea...

havin slpt so late yesterday..i woke up ard 3 plus today...actualli not much diff..i always wakie in the afternoon...like i say..i hate the sun..-.-
was surfin thr frenster yesterday..n ya ..i did the wron thin again..(those who knoe will understd though)..i tink i m hopesless le..sighz

had a bad dream lastnite..it was abt him...the dream is just like scenarios of many wad if...the ans all appear in front of mi..well..i noe u all dunno wad i m tokin...
how accurate are dreams dictionary?

duno how long more i can hold on...sugar did commented that i better than last time ledi...wellx..mabbe..
i reali hope i can be brainwashed...cos the feelin reali suxs..n i duno y..but i reali stil miss him..even though all the lies..all the hurt...

**ther are no miracles..no wishes...no hopes...in this world at all...isnt it?**

过渡时期歌手:蜜雪薇琪 专辑:kissy

我学会控制自己表情
不让别人看出心中秘密
下一次听到别人提起你
就可以不去在意

热热的眼泪不能自己
朋友的定义谁能决定
等思念退去心就可以平静

我还在乎你
我想这是一个过渡时期
要学着忘记
还需要一些些勇气
我还在想你
独自承受这个过渡时期
不会再爱你
我早已经决定

我的隐滋味多口何必
仿佛已经失去感觉拥你
还是总不由自主想起你
心跳在不逃不离

热热的眼泪不能自己
朋友的定义谁能决定
等思念退去心就可以平静

我还在乎你
我想这是一个过渡时期
要学着忘记
还需要一些些勇气
我还在想你
独自承受这个过渡时期
不会再爱你
我早已经决定

我还在乎你
我想这是一个过渡时期
要学着忘记
还需要一些些勇气
我还在想你
独自承受这个过渡时期
不会再爱你
我早已经决定

http://www.vv66.com/song_play/84133.htm
nice song..

quiz

got this from jeannie blog which she got from frenster bulletin which i duno originate from wher...

-1 WHERE DO YOU LIVE? bb
2- LATEST ADDICTION? opening mailbox...
3- SONG THAT YOUR LISTENING RIGHT NOW? Jolin - shi zuo yong zhe
4- WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? Bloggin?
5- WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU WENT OUT TO EAT WITH? dun realli remember....
6- IF U WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? ...soft toy...
7- WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ONYOUR HONEYMOON? If i can live til den...den i will let u knoe..
8- WHATS YOUR RING TONE? Lin yi chen - gu dan bei ban qiu
9-WHAT DO YOU THINK A TOBLERONE IS? chocolate
11- DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? ya
12- WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU? a lot..
13- CAN U DRIVE? no...
14- WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS?go to a new environment..start a new life...
15- FAVOURITE FILM? a lot...

[16-17 =?????]

18- DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE? ya...
19- ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK ANYONE OUT? more 2 lazy...

[where's 20-23?]

24- WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?missin someone who dun belong to u
25- WORST SOUND? sounds that dun sound nice..
26- WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP? walk out of room
27- ROLLER COASTER, SCARY OR EXCITING? scary
28- HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THEPHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT?as short as possible?unless is from ppl i dun wan pick up?
29- IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? it's nvr full =.=

[30 gone again..]

31- YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE? duno
32- MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE?white chocolate
33- DAY OR NIGHT? night.i dun like the sun...
34- SUMMER OR WINTER?winter..cold is nice..
35- CAKE OR PIE?cake..
36- DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? none
37- SUNRISE OR SUNSET?sun set..told ya i dun like the sun...
38- HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE?no...my doggie bone den ya...those dog food one...
39- DO YOU HATE ANYONE? yes n no...
40- DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIGHTING?i dun bleaf in anythin...
41- WHO DO YOU TURN TO FOR ADVICE? those i saw?
42- WHAT SKILL DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? know wad ppl thinkin..n the ability of forgettin wad i dun wan remember...n a lot...
43- WHERE ARE YOUR FAVORITE PLACES? no wher...
44- WHO SENT YOU LAST SMS? Irene...
45- LAST SMS YOU SEND TO? Mr charlee
46- THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Cg
47- PEOPLE WHOM YOU CHATTED WITH LAST NIGHT?Cg,Jes,Sugar,W
48- LAST PHOTOS YOU TOOK WITH FRIENDS? Prom Nite
49- ANY PLANS OF GOING OUT? mabbe
50- WHAT WOULD YOU DO AFTER ANSWERING THIS BULLETIN? who noes?

**the truth is..i stil miss him..**

MOOD ANALYSIS TEST RESULTS

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.

Click here to take the test again now

lost...

my pen knife is lost...i duno wher it went to when i try to find it last nite...sighz
anywayz..tis blog mite not be updated as frequent as last time...coz i m reali not hapi or in the mood to do so...
i owe some ppl a reason ...a story too...
somehow i just wished that tml will be the end of world...i dun hab to wake up again...or even next minute end of world...cos i reali cant find a reason why i shld love myself...some mite say coz frens?
but someone who i treated most closeli..most trust...had ledi proven mi wrong...
i reali wonder...wad did i do wron to deserve all these...
karma?but i nvr treat anyone this way...so why is god doin this to me?

i reali duno if i will move on successfulli...or even live past this...
cos..i reali goin crazy soonz...

sad month

its reali a sad month...someone help can?god can u hear mi?????????

he was rite...very rite...

Miracles?

do u bleaf in miracles..?i hope it will happen...stupid hope...but i reali wish it will happen...

sAd

i feel sad...i feel useless...

pRoM NiTe

wanted to write abt prom..but i guess later ba..not in a gd mood now

i cant control...n i reali cant...

results out...

well...as u can see...results are out...
dun reali wanna comment on that...cos i duno wad i wan to say...
my mood is stil depressed...n i m stil emotionalli unstable...
so..cant reali bring u updates...sry guys n pplz...

feelin dam suxs...

well..for the past 24hrs..i haben eat...onli drink n drink...letme see...afternoon drank a cup of milk...then drink white tea...then teh ping...
i m not tryin to be on diet...dun mistaken...i reali dun hab any appetite for anythin...
was in a shock ever since yesterday,wed midnite...after knowin some stuffs..
duno why things will happen til this way...mabbe all along is my fault ba...reali..everythin...
i reali dun bleaf...reali...sorriz..i m stubborn..i m fan...but i reali dun bleaf....
.......duno how long more b4 i reali will be out of this sufferin...
i knoe its up to me...but my tears jus drop whenever i tot of it...i m weak i knoe...my eyes so pain ledi...
i reali hope...i can dun even tink of anythin...i reali wanna be hapi...i reali wan.......
but it reali hurts....very hurt.....
y wanna lie mi...y wana let mi knoe all tat...y wanna treat mi like tis...
i knoe i must be strong...i knoe i nid to be...but for now...i reali cant...reali cant.........
can anyone understd my feelins?i m tryin my best...to dun do stupid things....i m reali tryin...but i reali duno...will i b able to do it........i reali duno..........

i m so hurt......................

Msia Trip

well...as the title says..yap..been bek from msia...
but before i tok abt that...jus tok abt the wireless jam competition thing ba..
for this yr...Np onli manage to get one award..that is the best application award that is actualli voted by people in the market place...honestli speaking...i jus can say ..it wasnt reali wad NP deserve to get...even though i m from np...but its too cheat ba...why i say so?well...Np send in ard 23 teams into the finals...max is 3 ppl per team...and then each member is given a voting paper too...basicalli...all the votes are being cast in one team...=.=" get it?
anywayz..the whole competition aso quite suxs...in a sense that the judgin wasnt reali fair...
Tp won almost all the award...but like wad hj say...it shld be competing by applications...but they brought products to compete...wellx..imagine a robot n a demo application...which one seems nicer?sure is robot... another thing is originality which was mentioned in the judgin criteria...the games are not original ba...cos......................it jus some games n implemented onli...ok...havin said that...wellx...not that i bad loser...i tink my application is the lousiest anywayz..but jus some thoughts abt this wireless jam ba...after all..first time join...

thursday went jb with gin n jes...wellx all i can say is...boring.............
why do i say so?cos basicalli its so singapore- shoppin centre aliked...except mabbe..bigger?in terms of space to walk........n ya...food cheaper.......
near 4pm..actualli sms someone to ask for places of nice shoppin..but i receive 3 phone calls bek ard 20mins later...i reject all 3...reason being..........pickin up phone call will be so ex..........esp in jb...n til now i duno who call mi btw...
fri ard 2pm+ got ppl call mi aso....but i was not with my phone..thus no pick up also...sry to that person..i reali duno who u r...cos its annonymous.......n i not purposeli kap ur phone k?
today sat...basicalli doin nth...or rather...watch vcd...those i watch b4..i cont watch...jus to kill time...i m crazy...thats wad i feel...u knoe ma...i reali duno wad i m doin............reali duno..................

Revamped

had finished changing the skin...wellx...took mi quite long..><
wad shld i blog on today?
not reali in a mood...cos jus finish hearing a sad story...
seems like my fren is aso havin a hard time now...sighz..it seems like that horoscope ppl had almost the same personality...realiz...jus resembles totaliz...
pray that everythin will turn out fine...
*sighz

Feelin BoRed + saNx...+ suXs...........as Usual...bleahz

yesterday actualliz tried to post entry...but dun reali knoe wad happen to blogger...didnt managed to post a long entry up...mabbe god stoppin mi...no idea...

anywayz, yesterday didnt slp...i duno why...but jus cant seem to fall asleep...in the nite...the memories all came bek to mi fast...n i actualli cant stop myself from thinkin n missin himz...n i reali do wonder wher is he now...but nvrtheless...i cant do anything too...

13th April sp convention...pls come visit kkkk?cos there is booth voting too...n i haben do the poster n all those stuffs yet...argh...jus not in the mood to do so...Tink ntu n nus reali is dun wan mi liow...sighz...sad...jus gonna wait again...

ok..i m tryin to blog like last time...so bear with mi ok??since i didnt manage to get to slp yesterday...ard 10am i m stil awake n playing with that dog...then jus go to my mother room n prepare to slp...soon fell aslp n woke up ard 4 pm plus...automatically went down to open mailbox...it had become a habit...to check my mailbox for letters...bleahz...

later then cont blog if i hab the time...jyaz..

*~ wshn ~* desu..mssn himz...

Demo...
wellx..the demo actualli went quite suxs...and here i m trying to blog a normal entry like last time i used to...n i emphasize...its trying...
firstly..was suppose to meet up at 10 at suntec to prepare for the presentation thing...but cos ict server too troublesome..teacher didnt manage to import the newest version up..n thus ...took cab to sch first...after which...FINALLi manage to import it up cos of the support ppl...den took cab with teacher to suntec...met ard 1050 like that...demo at 1205...
IDA have a stupid system...u nid to register for internet access..and it gives u a password n username...n it last for 1hr onli!
n ok abt that..nvm..it require PEAP authentication..n it makes dam a lot ppl unable to access the wireless...the technician was said to come down soon...so from 1205...our demo was pushed back to ard 3pm++?
PDAS cant connect to internet too..thus finali the demo was on IE..=.="
nvm abt that again...the internet acess was cut off halfway...cos 1 hr over.....so we use localhost...but localhost the thing i edit b4...thus dam suxs...
overall quite suxs la...the judges are 2 angmohs..n requires so much attention to grab wad they tokinz...arghz...nvm..its over...13th april goin sp convention market place...finalli its going to be over...finalli...
hope its goin to turn out fine again...
lastly..i stil miss himz...
sighz...

forcing myself to stay awake now...or shld i go slp now?no idea...
tml having demo...worried that cant wake up...
how can one stay hapi?
anyone care to share?
anyway...one more qn..how did i manage to blog last time?.........
seems like my memory is failing mi...and also my mood...everytime i wanna blog things...i jus cant type...even if i type..the most it will be saved as draft...
i reali so hate the me now...realiz so hate.........

thanx for those who remember my bday and bother to msg or call or celebrate with mi....
as expected...this yr bday is stil as sucky as last yr...but i did tried my best to be hapi...
certain thing make mi sad n disappointed...but aso...certain things make mi surprised n hapi...but u noe wad...the ratio is 1:2...sad:hapi
but...the 1 stands 90%...while 2 stands 10%
thats all i wanna comment on this yr bdayz...

had a terrible nite...or rather..tonite everythin seems to come to mi again...
i nid a direction between 1 yr to 3 yrs...
nid a direction to wad i suppose to do next...n wher i m suppose to go....

i feel cheated by someone...but dun wori ..its not a guy...
if tats the way ppl wanna treat frens..nth much more to say..
over n out

couldnt realli slp..so ..on9...dun reali wanna update this blog...cos in this blog i knoe...i couldnt be bek myself...hmm...actualli i dun reali knoe which is myself...bleahz...

yesterday had a sot day...if u ask mi why..i will jus say..cos..i miss a lot of thins in the past...afternoon on my icq...omg..icq is version 5 already..and with the comments of honkie...actualli remind mi of yr 1 the times...everyone was on icq...

then til now..everyone is on msn..amazingly...web messenger...reminds mi of yr 2 times...when we studyin SA all that..yap..that semester...everyone lazi bring lapi..so is use lab computers...

memorable time...

yesterday aso tot of mani mani things...reminded mi of the past...

ok..enuf with yest...lets update today...

went taka to look look see see for gin..but she off work ledi..nvm lo..so walk walk ard..hmmm..first saw bt n wr...and then walk a bit more..saw my dardar...come knock mi..-__-"

o ya..b4 that saw xiaoai aso at watsons...small world..everywher see ppl...in the end supper with wr n bt...can say memorable again ba...

hmmm.....can someone tell mi...how long can a person choose to avoid n live in their own world?

when will the hurt stop?..can onli say...i miss the past...including past me...

cos now..deep now inside...it stil hurts like hell...

sighz.... ......................

sry ppl..........tot i can blog one hapi entry...i wanna blog one...but reali...

i.t.s.t.i.l.h.u.r.t.s

take care pplz.......

BaBy why would you hurt me so long...hurt me so long...zhe yi ge ren bu gai shi wo...
baby why would you hurt me so long...pls let me know...nan guo shi ni liu gei wo de xian suo...

Mo fei wo de ju dong...chen le ni de ku zhong...
xiang an shi wo de suo you...ni ling yuan mei you jing guo...
ai yu fu de tai duo...bu shi mei you xiang guo...
zui yu ben na hui shi wo.......

sghz

had a very bad nitemare yesterday...

When a GIRL is quiet,Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL sms's u everyday,She wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you,She means it.

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "i miss you",No one in this world can miss you more than that

today is hmm...friday?
someone flew...one more flying soon..then another...
actualli true...no difference to me ba...they not reallife frens aso..but..stil a bit de sad one la..
anywayz...this afternoon tok to another fren...another liar....zzz..told mi mabbe goin study aso....zzz..4th one...-___-
seems like studyin can kill time...
1 month left for fyp...n wireless jam...i wunt go crazy gina..dun wori...
anywayz thx 2 jes card dat these few days can so hapi...
yesterday i got to knoe somethin..thx 4 "shelterin" or tryin to minimise the hurt of the truth for mi...u knoe who u r...but it didnt work stil after i knoe it...
was tokin to my mother in the afternoon.yep..no listen wrongli...was sayin abt frens...she could tell mi "frens?they nvr stab u at the bek gd ledi" duno abt tat...
duno...jus knoe...i dun feel like bloggin anymore...mabbe will jus leave it til duno when..got mood then blog...duno...not sure...
-over n out-

*P.S. this post is not written to aim at anybody...jus writing wad my mother told mi n wad i feel...so dun get offend..thx

sgHz... ...

recentli things are gettin sadder n sadder...everyone seems to be leaving..either to other countries..or to holidays...leaving n leaving...more n more distance...gettin a sadder n scarier feelin...
the dreams i had didnt help mi at all..it added on to this sadness...even slpin i cant get a abit of happiness...
and i reali lost myself...totalli lost my sense of directions as to wher i wanna go..wad i tinkin...and i reali have no idea who m i..
is that call tired?i duno...i knoe a lot of ppl stil care for this little life of mine..even though how bad i had treated them b4...n i reali v grateful to them..but i totalli duno who m i now...n ya..noone else can help mi except myself...
hab u ever wonder...how true this sentence is?-->actions speak louder than words
i jus realise..its not true...not totalli true at all...
few more things...lucky stars...it was bleafed tat u fold them to be lucky...but u knoe...its proven wrong again...it isnt lucky at all
cranes?1000 cranes for a wish...this one mabbe not many hear b4...but can go try surf ard...but tell u again...it doesnt grant a wish..i folded ard 5k plus(plus n minus including those i give ppl)...i duno whether their wish come true...but for mi..it didnt...
dreamcatcher?the picture which i posted previousli...it is bleafed to capture bad dreams in the web...n thus give gd dreams...i hang that by the window for so mani yrs...but recentli..it prove mi wrong...n y onli recentli?cos i jus re-realised its existence...
so wad else can i bleaf in?
every bleaf gives ppl hope...but til now..i dun tink thers any hope ...
and ya..i shldnt be bloggin real feelins in a blog...cos i aso duno wad i feelin everyday..every min...every moment...
but dun wori..i m stil tryin to be strong...to be hapi everyday...while floodin myself with other tots...n other stuffs...jus that recentli i realli cant tahan ...the feelin of everyone leaving suxs...be it temporary or permanent..
i miss my jie jie T.T sghz...

bek to blog...nahz..wanted to post pic yesterday..but due to laziness..+ tireness + no moodness + mani mani more...so nvr post lo..hoho..anywayz..now post for yest or rather..sat things...
and o ya..thx jes for teachin mi blog n post pic this way ^^

wellz...i post my beautiful finger first..=b..
so pain..cos of that staplet..arghz...


or rather..b4 that..went bugis the "the coffee connection"
last time always go ther with winnie 1..ya..drink drink tok tok eat eat...BUT...i reali forgot wad i eat b4 in that shop..-___-"
anywayz..see this nice nice latte..


thats b4 i stir...after that..it bcame a bloody drink which looks digusting...like my most hatred tomato juice.... !#@!


and yeah..the display of nail colors...*p.s:not my finger...=.="


-end-

Monday
went sch for meet old man...get pda...instead of 1..i got 2 now..zzz..but forgot how to make it connect to internet...bleahz...T.T
then go the fyp briefing..after which go nydc eat...in which i jus drink their water...cos cant find somethin i wan eat...
this drink hor..not nicer than my above one...zzz


ok..next is wanted to eat curry rice..but hor...they mop floor ledi..too badddd
so decided go eat kenny roger...my god..big discovery..the chicken very fit ther...so much meat -___-

came home..found my precious results slip..means 3 bucks saved!!!but i stil lack one sem result slip..arghz..3 bucks prepare to gone...mabbe later find again..
anywayz...i wonder how mani knoe wads this...


mabbe blog on it when i hab more mood all that...for now..over n out~

*yawns...goin slp soon..dam lazi update...so jus a brief one

Saturday-->Ro carnival...T.T
went to the austrailian uni open hse thingy..but suxs..melbourne not ther...!@#@!#.. n realise another thing..my results suxs...however theres stil a few nice uni at the fair..dam lots of ppl..and ya..dam suxs...aunty nowadays..haiz..dunno how to queue up..nvm abt that..the fair too mani ppl ba...suxs...after that shoppin again..yeah...actualli is collect photo lar...i luv to collect photo..zzz...
den went shoppin or wadever u call it la...erm..here hab a few qn to ask those who always make up...erm..u all knoe lip gloss got those like mascara pattern type of packagin one?does eye shadow hab that kind of packagin nowadays?
anywayz...reach home late..cos ya..went one shop again..no nid say wad shop la...u all knoe 1...hoho...beginnin to luv bugis...=b..oya..i hate bum shop...cos it poke my fingers...not the bum shop poke..but the staplet...shop condemmed

Sunday
wake up earli wanted to hand in my application for the australian uni thing...but hor........they say my results slip must get mailto:stamped...!@#@! gotto ask stupid np to stamp..i slpt ard 4 plus yest n wake up ard 11 plus..my god...dam earli..n i lack slp...currentli is v tired..
tml then post pic ba...too no mood..suxs

Mass Update...

elox everyone..bek to blog...yep...hmm...b4 i start bloggin..can someone do a gd deed n help mi change blogskin?!?!dam tired n lazy to change...n also...no reali nice skins ard...or rather..i dun hab the mood to browse through each of them..bleahz...

ok...so now jus update on the happenings of this wk...let me tink...
Tuesday
well well well...wad did i do today...?erm...o ya...went sch do final yr project with gin...hmmm..miss atrium at nite...realli so peacefullll...stupid jessica went off ard 6pm plus..ya...lazy her..lazi pig...dun bring laptop do fyp la...wan hand write la...end up slpin on the table...zzz...
anywayz...stay ther til quite late cos nid do the screenshots..got a big shockkkkk..cos almost cant run my emulator...zzz...or rather...forget how to run...that stupid http://wishin/MbaAsg/login.aspx yep.. this... path name...put here in case i forgot again...but in the end ma...managed to do up all the screenshots...although some reali no logic one...dun care...cos nid hand up soon...then saw honkie in sch aso..at nite pass by us..so auto will say "eh" to him...thats the normal reaction rite...then as usual..he lame ...use "b" to ans bek...Zzzz...n the hongs also ther with him..both stil as crappy as b4...zzz...
after they left...gin say hungry...so suggest go makan lor...yeah...since ledi 10 plus...we go clementi lor...wanted to save money by eatin kfc..but hor...kfc dun wan earn my money...close so earli...so went mac instead...makan n makan..den gin say one qn..."later no bus go home then high..i left 2 dollar" ....didnt realise tat wad she say quite true...11 plus ledi ma...crabs...so eat faster lor...then go home lor...reach home ard 12 plus...surprisingli...noone scold mi for home late...or rather...noone even knoe i came home..zzz...everyone was slpin...even that lucky...
hmmm...after takin a bath...went online to wait for ms tang...cos wan play game together...then we play game til 3-4plus...suxs lor...dam tired bth liow..so i go slp first...
that game so cheat...i use my character which is born in channel 3...she create hers in channel 2...i can pm her...she cannot pm mi...we in the same map..but cannot see each other...wth...but nvm...jus grumbling ...nth much for this day ledi...

Wednesday
went to sch for a stupid security seminar...a talk that lasted 3 hrs...tokin abt national service n national service n national service...bleahz...dam tired cos previous day slp a while onli..then the stupid tok is on at ard 1230...ya i noe very late ledi...but to me stil earli la...4am slp..til 1045 nid wake up lor...i m pig lor..so i nid more than that amount of slp..*sigh..hard to be a pig nowadays...bleahz...
ok continue...wanted to do wireless jam thing after the talk but end up no contact and noone say anythin..so noone do...ops...forgot ..i shld elaborate abt the talk n wad happen inside.../pif...ok...the talk is abt national service...................guys nid go do national service lor..then every ppl must attend lor...all yr 3 occupy so much of the convention hall seats...n listen them tok tok tok...bleahz...they show wad the guys go through in ns blah...how shld GF be MORE considerate towards them(crabs)...why i say crabs...cos i reali dun hab gd impression of NS guys treatin their gf...it seems like every guy that go in NS will change...yep they change..thats a fact...but towards bad or gd...noone knoes...bleahz..suan le..duno wad i tokin..
when they tokin abt total defence...the 5 defences..i was reminded abt the cheer leading session in secondary sch during guides time..haha...so fun...memorable..okok..enuff of these crabs..cont...
since we didnt realli listen to the talk...so wad are we doin?basically asking ppl to be more "on"..to go for prom nite...yep...last yr ledi!!stil..hard to ask them go..so sianx n sick of askin...all will say see how see how...
ok............now is after the talk..........................................
after tha talk...dam suxs la...walkin to the bus stop...then realise nvr top up my ez link...so must find coins la..den waited at bus stop for 61 lor...then ms tang call mi go out cos her dear dear goin gamin n she dun wan go lor...so teman her ...wanted to go bugis..but halfway thr..head a bit sot ba..head bek to ginza plaza...for wad?-->game<-- ya i admit i crazy...gin aso ask mi whether head got prob a not..bleahz...but seriousli..shld be got ba..zzz
anywayz..went to eat kfc...that stupid meal which consist of such a BIG burger...*yawns...made a big discovery...ginza have nothin to shop..except LAN shops...-______-" and a lot ah bengs ah lians..or rather those act bengs act lians?god knoes..
after which was sayin wanted to go bowlin..hahah..yep..long time no bowl..but ............too bad.........sg bowlin centre left how mani?not mani ba..T.T cannot from clementi travel to bt panjang ba..so we settle for pool instead...went to play at clementi...ya..we played an hour...for ard 3 rounds of game...wahaha...cannot blame..aimin dam suxs...so no win no lose...play til kurt come then i b lightbulb go makan with them n kurt fren lo...
noticed another thing...all the way i eatin............................the topics that are talked.............are games games n games...omg...now then i noe...
after eatin go bek pool again...cos gin wan play..then i sit ther watch they 2 play lor..be lightbulb..yeahhhh...but i jus dun wan go home earli la..so...sori lor gin =b
while watchin them play...xiaoai call lor..decided to go her hse pass her cd lor...dun ask mi why..told ya cos i sot ledi..the time is ard 9 plus at that time...n i knoe i will be dam late home.....but i stil go...thats not mi rite?yep..
anywayz...after finish their pool..gin wan play arcade...so i go off first lor...erm...another interesting thing happen..i was at the bus stop...when a stupid guy come n ask mi phone?zzzzzzz
why issit that in this century this kind of thin will stil happen..?i tot it will onli happen in secondary n mabbe younger age...bleahz...wads more...i wearing a stupid tee shirt n 3/4 pants...ya...anyhow wear...dam anyhow..n i m not chio ok......-__-"
anywayz...got on the bus..realise on the same bus with him n his another fren..*faint...
then i msg gin...she so cute..
me:wei..jiu ming ar
her:u saw ghost ar
me:...u sot ar...so earli wher got ghost see
then she call mi n her first sentence is "i call u save u the best hor"
haha..gin ar...u reali very cute...hahahahah
den i sit the bus til the interchange...my god..same as them aso.......zzzzzzz
walked as fast as possible lor...n i walk outer route lor...den ma...lucky i walk fast../pif
den reach home ledi...another surprising thing happen lor...so eventful day .........my sister told mi she saw ledi..i ask her wad..she keep dun wan say...then i guess aso knoe lor..those photos lor...then my mother aso come in my room n say those photo nice all that..bleahz...the most surprising thing is............they didnt scold mi......phew...
den after bath..went to find xiaoai lor...den receive jerry sms say wan do wj thing on thur...so settled on thur lor...anywayz..went xiaoai hse ard 10 plus..yar...i m crazy...i reach ther ard 11 plus...actualli planned to reach home ard 12...or b4 that...but amazingli..i reali dun feel wan at home..so i stayed at her hse til 1 plus...tok tok lor...den take cab home...another big discovery...midnite cabs are dam ex...and from cck to bb...7.50...so ex..........for so near distance...now i noe why jessica u dun wan go clubbin n go home alone for midnite cabs.....
reached home ard 2 plus..hab a bath and wanted to on9..but tink twice..i m tired...n on9 aso no use..mite as well go slp..so i went slp after that...another amazing thing...noone scolded mi for being home late again

Thursday
went sch do wireless jam thing...meet 11 in sch 1..but end up all reach so late...jerry fly my aeroplane...cannot blame him too...keep work work n work ma...10pm to 7am..wher enuff slp la...but gd money though..den honkie reach ard 1145.....then do the wj thing lor...stupid erd again...was unclear abt a part of the receptionist..but in the end he nid go do his fyp at egarage ledi..so i alone lor..cos jerry sms say he on his way...so wait wait wait til 2-3 plus..i call him...he no reply...means..............he fell aslp again..so i go home lor...yap..n i slp aso -___-
too tired ba....
nite time wake up...wanted to do my jap essay for that speech contest...but end up strayin...yeah..very strayed...but in the end..managed to get bek SOME of my mood..
too mani things nid to b done...
1.jap essay
2.taxes test
3.jap test
all in one day.......sighz...but in the end...didnt reali go bother my jap test..

Friday
today another suxs day...earli in the mornin go sch for taxes...*yawns...dam tired....cos previous day 3-4am then slp...then wake up ard 845...got test ya...so go cls do test...got a feelin of kana cheated when the test was actualli MCQ...zzz to tink i go memorise how to do balance sheet...those SI,AI,CI...this is reali crab lor...n i didnt study the topic abt personal reliefs...zzz...forgot it ba..suxs..
after which lunch at SIM...eating a pasta nid mi to queue up 30++ mins for it...saw hweeling ther...stil the same ba her...after SIM eat finish...go cls again lor..wad else...sigh** go Online Communication Campaign cls...got a shock..i go in cls...all ppl have laptop on the table..ZZZ.....cos today got online quiz -______-
ivy ask mi go borrow from desmond..so borrow from him..n start doin that stupid quiz that lasted for 45mins...30MCQs which u can keep try n try...i tried more than 5 times...so dulan...1st time get 22/30...second time 23/30..third time 20/30..forth time 22/30...5th time...22/30...6th time aso same...so i dam dulan dun wan try ledi..jus give my marks.......the teacher stil tell mi..u keep stuck at 22 hor..-___-" the qns are all the same la..but how i knoe which one i wrong?!?!crabs..
after occ..went to WISP cls lor...sianx ba...dam sianx so see gin hp n play with it lor...nth to do aso..see her photo lor...nah..that cls not much to say la..too sianx..keep teach abt world issue...who will be our possible "attackers"..bleahz..actualli its alrite la..but 3-5 liow..who got the mood!??!
after which jes n gin go orchard n i stil stuck in sch..arghz...went lib study 1 hr...ya..u nvr see wrong..i STUDIED...for my jap test la...den drag myself to that cls...today lesson abt personality lor...
watashiwa shinsetsu desu..(I am helpful) all these lor...then cos too sianx..n teacher was askin us to say wad we tink of our fren...so when my fren ask..
boku wa donna seigakuda do omoumasuka?(wad u tink of mi?)
i jus ans him bek...i dun wan let lightning struck...instead of answering bek
yasashii do omoimasu..(i tink u are kind)
cannot blame us..too sianx ledi...
den after that had a "briefing" session for the make up clses for jap...dam it...every wk add 1 hr...i wan faint liow...i m a typical 12 hrs in sch student...
10 til 9......!#@!#@!
i hate fridays......

anyone got nice topic for a 5 mins presentation and a nice skin for my blog..pls let mi knoe..ur help will be appreciated...
*note to jes: how can u throw gin alone...aiiiii

-over n out...long post...dun kill mi...jus a mass update..so tired now..goin slp soon..tml nid go see autralian open hse n go take my big big photo again...means wake up earli n all that....but nvm..the more tired the more gd ba...

HaPPy NeW yEaR!!!

its the 2nd day of 2005 now..keke...didnt hab much activities on the 1st day..yep..didnt go for the countdown blah...stayed at home...onli went to collect my makeover photo with hf..after which we run home...scared of crowd...very concidentalli...met mag mag..berdine..and peiling on the mrt platform..long time no seee..all stil the same as last time..so cheerful ^^

went je kfc makan after that...dam crowded..cos of the jurong JRC ther countdown..anywayz..all the countdown was toned down..due to the tsunami thing...and this affected some of the events...the sentosa party stil goes on..however no broadcast...tink is cos of the ticketing thing...esplanade fireworks display was cancelled...yep...i tink they did rite ..imagine ppl dying every minute at the india ther...and u puting fireworks to celebrate?!?!... a bit the...er..."ze e"

new yr new wish...was tokin with fren..abt resolution...and we were "debating" abt ger guy behaviour...haha...been a long time since i debate this issue with the same person =b..tok to cf abt new yr wish too...n he say he will pray for mi for my wish come true..^^

anywayz..few days ago..went to see my old diary..the one i used to write ...n i got a big shock!!!..thers onli 2 entries for the year 2004...OMG...i tink combine with my another diary..and my blog...shld be enuf?/hmm...n the first entry is dam short?3 sentences...omg...

okie..now for new year resolutions...
1.get my diploma...
2.plan for my future...
3.cultivate patience...
4.earn $$$
5.live like a normal person...means..less internet!!
6.a trip to kl?(stil considering ^^)
7.treat my frens better...(those that are worth it ^^)
8.love myself!!!
9.b hardworkin????(i doubt i will...bleahz)

-tats all le...-
*memories are somethin...noone can take away from ya...*